Wednesday, October 18, 2006

dnE ehT

I guess i haven't bring updating my blog recently, have being caught up with complication after complication.

Anyway, point is, currently, there are no counterparts to life, and my life is in a mess.

So for now, this blog will die with its owner, or hopefully be reborn in a new light, sometime soon. If ever.


Tuesday, July 25, 2006

Days gone by

Auld Lang Syne

Should old acquaintance be forgot,
and never brought to mind ?
Should old acquaintance be forgot,
and auld lang syne ?

For auld lang syne, my dear,
for auld lang syne,
we'll take a cup o’ kindness yet,
for auld lang syne.

And surely you’ll get your pint mug !
And surely I’ll get mine !
And we'll take a cup o’ kindness yet,
for auld lang syne.

We two have run about the hills,
and pulled the daisies fine ;
But we’ve wandered many a weary foot,
since auld lang syne.

We two have paddled in the stream,
from morning sun till dine ;
But seas between us broad have roared
since auld lang syne.

And there’s a hand my trusty friend !
And give us a hand o’ thine !
And we’ll take a right good-friendly draught,
for auld lang syne.

P.S : "Fate chooses your relations, you choose your friends."
- Jacques Delille (1738 - 1813)

Chose, i did. And of regrets i have none.

Tuesday, July 18, 2006

My cup of tea

A dab of sourness, a splash of remorse, a spoonful of regret and a chunk of well wishes, stir it all with a trickle of hot steaming melancholy, and the result? Brew of the day- tea of jumbled feelings. (Move along coffee bean, your Jamaican home ground is no longer the vogue.)

I will never live to like it, its taste too much a reminder of failure and sweet memories long past, but drink it i will, sipping, savouring, pretending to be the connoisseur of human feelings i never will be, taking disappointments and inexplicable human thoughts lightly, waving them away as weak whims of my darker nature, all the while nodding sympathetically at your problems, saying things to make you feel better, saying things i don't believe in. Always being the one who shares your worries, but never shares his own. Why?

Because it is not in my interest to reveal an unsolvable issue of weakness to you. Why share a problem with others when it is inherently a complex question that did not have an answer in the first place? How do you solve a rubric cube which has more then 6 colours? How do you reach for the stars on a cloudy, starless night? How do you want to understand me when you don’t understand yourself?

Maybe I’m making excuses. Maybe I’m too embarrassed by the truth, the unimaginable results of it. Maybe circumstances do not allow me to tell you how i really feel, cos it will only harm both of us. Maybe i feel you need to be protected from harsh reality, or maybe I’m just weak. Whatever it is, it doesn't matter. Not anymore.

So we will continue to share our little meetings, our little secrets, our moments of faith where things seemed so bright, so hopeful for just the briefest moment, and we be contented with that. Let the dark thoughts and unspeakable notions hide in the dark crevice of my mind, and let me face them alone when they come out to haunt me. It is a fight i must take, and it is a battle i fight alone. With a bright future paving your way, why be burdened by my puny issues?

On my darkened path of life, soiled by sweat and tears, despair and unfulfilled ambitions, we part for the last time with a hug and a handshake. Even if we do meet again, you will be my past, just as I will be yours. And as I urge you to make haste towards the warm sunlit boulevard of dreams, I wish you the best. That at least, is real.

Wednesday, July 12, 2006

My friend, the pope

Today as i was browsing the papers, i came across an article that got me thinking. Pope Benedict stated claim that he had 'always surpported Italy in the World Cup, and loved Italy and its people'. Now, understanding the fact that he IS the pope situated in the heart of rome, it is definitely a good decision to show some support to the millions of catholics out there. What i don't get is how Germans are going to swallow this blatant act of unpatrioticsm.

True, i could be just making mountains out of ant hills with the help of a hyperactive imagination, but isn't the pope, as the official spiritual leader of one of the world's leading religion supposed to
maintain a dignified diplomatic stance? His public statement, while commiting political suicide, has the same effect as telling the world, "hey, no offences to my home country, but Rome is paying me more, and like, i have more fans here so i support their football team. Tough luck, Germany old boy."

Which brings to mind, in such a situation, which weighs more? The country that made you the man you are, or the country that is offering to make you something better? This thought, extrapolated to the situations of me and many friends, pose the same problem- as we are going to be studying overseas and most likely working there, what will our choice be when faced with a similiar situation?(albiet with a more serious issue than football). Will we run to the aid of a country, though flawed in many ways, gave birth and nurtured us, or will we take the side of a nation that clearly offered us the chance to be much,much more that a mediocre individual?

Sad to say, i don't have an answer to that. The best i could offer is the time withstanding, weaselly,politically correct-no-matter-the-situation answer of ' it depends'. :P Ah well, I guess time will tell, and hopefully by the time i am forced to make a decision, it will be with more grace than Pope benedicts act. Ad interim, back to DoTA for me. haha.

Monday, June 26, 2006

Tokyo Drift

I must applause the effort put into 'The Fast and the Furious- Tokyo Drift'. For nearly 2 years, i have gone to the cinema merely as an act to humor my friends, as i found most movies banal and predictable...that was until i watched tokyo drift....this movie is smookin'..and so are the chicks..haha...nuf' said...a must watch...

Peace out.

p.s : Soon Heng, Edmund, plz teach me more bout car modification, i want to buy and mod my own GT-R too!!!!!

Tuesday, May 16, 2006

My thoughts

Well all you people out there reading my blog, i will treat u all to a little trip into the dark and empty space i call my soul. After much soul searching (ironic,no?) and contemplating, i have decided on the ultimate truism of life.

The most important thing in life is money.

In fact, i wont even give a second glance to all the mild protest of indignance by those who justify themselves with sweet sounding stories of moral and inter-human relationship. There is nothing. i repeat, NOTHING, a person can do without money.

So you say, 'it doesn't matter if you are poor, so long as your family remains happy.' Well, I tell thee, this is bullshit. Happiness does not pay for school fees, neither does it feed you or clothe you or pay for all the minor luxuries of life like air conds or cars. Ever wondered why they are called 'luxuries'? Doesn't take Einstein to deduce that they make people Happy, which,coincidentally, cannot exist if you don't have money. Go check out barlow's pyramid, and note that it's a measurement of survivability, not happiness, cause people can survive with $1 a day, sure, why not? The question is, did they have a choice? What do they feel living in that condition?

Sometimes i feel (ok, more like all the time), it is definitely easier to preach about moral deterioration and spiritual uplifting when you have 2 BMW's parked in your garage and a nice half million dollars house to return to each day. Take a look at the world today- Who does the most bitching and ranting in the world? U.S, who has a networth higher than the whole south east asia combined. If i was in that state, of course i would talk bout all types of minor issues like how nuclear weapons might blow up the fucking world. But not if i was living in north korea with no electricity supply, have 2 sick kids to tend to and my rice wont grow cause of a draught. Do you think it is possible that I would go preach Kim Song Il on the global implications of nuclear weapons when he is the one providing rations to me when the whole world is threatening to implement an imbargo on food import?

Use your brain, world. It is always the poor who suffer. You think Kim cares 2 shits if u limit food supply? He'll just ilegally import some from china-for himself,while the poor peasents will have no food, and die. DIE, if u didn't catch the implication of that word.

Now, i'm not trying to justify myself to anyone. I dun even care if you call me materialistic. Life is unfair and if you want to live a decent life, you play by their weird warped rules-as they say, if you cant beat then, join them. When you become a millionaire and donate a few million to charity organisations, suddenly, you start becoming the most appreciated individual in the world, getting the 'samaritan of the year' award or something. ( more often than not, it will be given in a nifty cocktail party by some rich ass U.N organization who would do better donating the money to East Timor). But who cares, the world works in a simple way- the rich dominate, and the poor gets dominated.

And I plan to be the one sitting at the peak of Barlow's Fucking pyramid.

Friday, May 05, 2006

DoTA Clan

Considering the fact that i will probably be ending up in Singapore, sad and desolete, I have decided to milk singapore for every puny cent it is worth. With that in mind, I,the ever observant one has noted these few things

1. NUS has broadband speeds that would put Maurice Green to shame.

2. Some of my old friends are going back, and our dota synergy is altogether not too bad. (in fact, rumor has it that they might, i reiterate, might have surpassed me in kill stealing prowess. :P)

3. 4 years staying in the same hostel( same floor and next door neighbours, if fate allows it) allows almost continiuos play and lots of frantic screaming, with dota discussions in between. Heck, if all goes well, we might even join local tournaments to win some lovely moneyyyyyyyy!!!!!

Ain't I the clever one? haha...

With all that said, its time for some serious business.....firstly, we still lack 2 members....a fifth normal line up and a back-up... Also, as with all pro clans, we have to stop playing pubbies(public games) and find some more,ahem,worthy opponents...(not that we are all so high and mighty, but we really need to expose ourselves to decent teamwork and gameplay.)

Furthermore, i noticed that our early buying strat is all wrong. With In house leagues(thats the clan battles), its always basillus for intel, and headdress for the others, while one farmer muz sacrifice a bit to buy a chicken, which is SHARED by all 5, not used are a kinda of a waste, as u dun chase ppl, and everyone plays safe, with lots of wards...lots of it. (which means we have to spam money buying oberver and the other kind of wards)

Next up is line up. practising league mode means we muz have pure sentinel and scourge hero picks. The optimim which i have found is

Sentinel: Top: sylla/ rhasta/ sniper
mid: KotL
bot: luna

Scourge : Top: pugna
Mid : Lich
bot: QoP
timestopper/ veno

All this are subjected to change, but after extensive reading of forums, i think this would be an ideal choice. WIth that, ls/jason and all who are interested, plz post me ur comments.